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celebrating the glories of eating in brooklyn. from the gut.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

What Am I Here For?


I feel like I've been going through a mid-life crisis since I was about 16. The past few years my "self-discovery" has become such a preoccupation that I sometimes feel paralyzed. Finding my calling so to say is a near constant battle inside my brain. Photography retreats, food courses, pottery classes, now guitar lessons. I think I'm much more than the sum of my parts. Do I really want to write restaurant reviews on a blog? Do I want to go to culinary school or get my MFA? Or do I just want to stay at my corporate job that I could do blindfolded? Maybe I'm really supposed to be the next American Idol. Am I really good at anything? Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Call it an existential crisis. These questions without answers sometimes keeps me up at night or put me in a bad mood depending on my level of caffeine intake.

Just as my brain is about to explode from all this constant questioning and nagging of self
my iPod shuffles to this Lambert, Hendricks & Ross song as I enter the lobby of my office building this morning and for a split of a second everything seems alright.

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5 Comments:

Blogger p'ster said...

I hear you, brother. A lot of us are in that boat. Maybe we should form a collective.

11:28 AM

 
Blogger meresy_g said...

You are good at lots of things. Lots and lots of things. But I always feel that if you single something out and push yourself to be super good at one thing, it quickly becomes unfun. But maybe thats me. I am a gemini, the ADD member of the zodiac and I bounce from one interest to another every month. What are we here for? To be good people. And you are one of the best people I know. So you've already achieved your calling. Now you can sleep at night.

11:17 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

meresy, geminis aren't the only ADD members of the zodiac. with air and earth in inconvenient spots in my chart (i'm a taurus with earth in everything but gemini in mercury), i alway feels torn in two. i empathize with efb. it's nice to be good, but i think we all have a secret or not so secret longing to be great, or thought so.

12:40 PM

 
Blogger Michael said...

guitar lessons? so we can have an easter jam this year?

10:12 AM

 
Blogger pod said...

Oh poop poop. nothing's really changed then has it? didn't he have these talks in your early 20s?
i think there is SOME comfort to be had in that. not sure what.
will get back to you.

sooner than you think. in person.

6:16 PM

 

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